Go Ahead, King: Reinforce Your Penis’ Cum Clock This Spring

Who doesn’t love a punctual cum lord? A wizard should arrive precisely when he means to, whether that means discharging his staff at the drop of his hat, or edging his ambrosia for hours on end with a partner. Sometimes, however, the penis has other plans. Approximately 40% of men experience sexual dysfunction of some kind, explains a new-ish sexual wellness company called Mate, whose sexual wellness supplements are designed to treat both premature ejaculation (PE) and erectile dysfunction (ED) with a shrewd concoction of 12 (supposedly) libido-boosting ingredients.

Photo: Courtesy of Mate

The brand was founded in 2020 by Jordan Elist, a former J.P. Morgan jabroni for whom premature ejaculation was a personal issue. Elist was dismayed to find that most of the solutions were desensitizing sprays and foams. “What’s the point of lasting longer if you can’t even enjoy the experience to the fullest?” he wondered. So he did what any stand-up lad would do, and called his dad. 

Elist Sr. is a world-renowned urologist with over 40 years of experience under his belt (no pun intended) of treating male sexual dysfunction. Together with a team of pharmacologists and urologists, the Elist boys brewed up a once-daily supplement designed to stave off premature ejaculation and encourage sexual stamina and duration. 

So, how does it work? Mate’s endurance supplement says that it uses the same underlying mechanism as generic prescription antidepressants, more specifically SSRIs, but without the same set of underlying side effects. Instead, the supplement uses amino acids to help increase serotonin production, a neurotransmitter that’s been studied in association with sexual performance, and brings a gumbo of purported libido-boosting ingredients into the mix, including cinnamon, fenugreek, grape seed extract, L-Tryptophan, L-Citrulline, and tribulus. 

According to the Mate mages, the average participant taking the supplement increased his sense of ejaculatory control by 66% and felt a 68% increase in “bedroom satisfaction.” It’s earned high marks on the website from reviewers so far, with one user writing, “I noticed a small difference after the first week, [and] by the end of the first month my performance was like I was 25 again!” Favorable odds, indeed. 

What with spring around the corner, Mate’s offerings couldn’t cum at a better time, whether you’ve got big plans with your boo, your sock, or a whole cuddle puddle of cuties. You’ve got nothing to lose, and all the potency of a family-founded, ejaculate-savvy brand to gain. 

Mate’s endurance supplements can be purchased here.

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