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Tired: Nicotine Patches. Wired: ‘Vitamin’ Patches

Still chewing your supplements? Sad. The wellness brand “They Are Wearables” wants you to absorb your nutrients like a boss.

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This article was originally published by VICE

Listen, we know you’re busy. You don’t always have time to slam a nutritious breakfast, wear a corsage to the office, or get to your essential reading. Existing under the boot of capitalism as a balanced person takes not just effort, but multitasking, which is why one wellness brand started asking the tough questions, such as, “Why are we still wasting precious mouth time by swallowing or chewing our vitamins, when we could be absorbing them with patches?”

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Photo: Courtesy of They Are Wearables

These vitamin patches come to us from the (very literal) brand “They Are Wearables,” and are described by its team as the first wellness patches of their kind to be “[designed] for sharing—not hiding—our supplement routines.” I don’t think anyone has ever been ostracized for swallowing a B12 pill in public, but the idea that you can just slap on a patch for energy boosting is still pretty cool and futuristic regardless.

Here’s how it works: the Wearables patches, which aren’t limited to just vitamins and range from sleep aids and energy boosters to chill-out patches, steadily release their nutrients throughout a 6- to 12-hour window when worn on the skin, allowing for you to absorb the power of powerful plant extracts (rather than through swallowing horse pill-sized supplements). On the massage and bon voyage end of the spectrum are the Chill Out patches with ashwagandha and passion flower extract, which have been shown in some studies to have a calming effect on some users. There are also sleep patches for adults and children which contain melatonin, skullcap herb powder, and L-theanine and are formulated to help ease anxiety and encourage sleep. If you’re looking to feel more energized, the energy patches are less Monster Energy vibes and more of the herbal persuasion, with green tea, yerba mate, black maca, and ginseng.

So far, the patches have earned a 4.1-star average rating on Amazon, where one reviewer writes, “Truly a chill pill sticker… I suffer from fibromyalgia and body aches from old injuries [and] these truly helped.” As someone who often forgets to add ashwagandha and maca to my own morning coffee, the idea of being able to get juiced from a patch is kind of the dream; it’s very Bradley Cooper-in-Limitless-meets-Starface-zit-patches.

The future of supplements is here, and it’s looking sticky.

Purchase They Are Wearables patches on Amazon


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